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[icon] What?! Does Super Nanny have to slap a bitch? - Andrew
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Subject:What?! Does Super Nanny have to slap a bitch?
Time:12:44 pm
Purely Random. I will admit that the show is very amusing to me. Something about crappy parents that makes me like my childhood just a bit more. Without going too deep I'll let everyone know that has been following my adventures through the years that my relationship with my mom and dad (whom are divorced) is better than it has been in a long long time.

Moving on.

I thought about doing a top ten list again. I like listing my favorite things but I opted out of it. I also considered doing one of my rants that make me feel better when I'm done typing and bring forth a chuckle or two..........albeit rare.

Not in the mood.

I'm just saying 'hi' to everyone and going to tell a short story instead.

once upon a time......
...I was living with my friend Greg at the time. These were my college years and my first apartment. Actually this was my first time living on my own in the 'not living with parents' sense. Life was good, and we did things that you of course cannot do in your home, or your neighbors when you're living in your parents house. I hated my neighbors. They were loud, and would scream things like 'ride 'em cowboy' all day. Two boys and one girl lived above me, and they just thought they were the cutest little spin off of friends ever.

I am a very very very docille creature, too much so usually. I let people push me around a lot and I rarely start any physical confrontations. For a moment or two in time college neighbors broke me of that habit very quickly. First, when they moved in, they never came down to share introductions. I always tried to say ''hi i'm your neighbor'' wherever I go at least (side note, newest neighbor up here in chicago is named Kenyata) What started it all was cooking. Grilling actually, I was grilling out on our deck, which was below their deck. The smoke got a little out of control and I rushed up to appologize. The guy was originally ok, but the girl was a bitch about it. After I got the 'its cool' from the guy, the more she bitched the more uncool it got. At the end of the conversation they were both upset and I just appologized again and left.

The next day I find my grill flipped over and in the parking lot. Its obvious who did this. I let it slide, no damage done to the grill. From that day on, they stomped up the stairs outside my door a lot louder. I let it slide, I try to be tolerent.

One day I come home, and the guy that lives above me (who also had the same kind of car as me, except his was the base line and mine had the bells and whistles i.e. racing stripes) left his light on. I go up and let him know, he's fine with it, and the girl asks me ''why is HE here? what did he do now??''

I walk out mid conversation with him.

Next day my car is keyed up.

See the pattern?

The stomping increased.

I confront them on the keying, I ask them if anyone was hanging around my car the last couple of days. They say they didnt see anyone key up my car (i didnt ask them if i saw keying i asked them if i saw hanging around) and realized they did it. I told them that if there were any problems, please let me know.. and left it at that.

That night they have a party
So much stomping pictures fall off my walls
The Next morning I wake up to find all their beer cans on my car along with some mcdonalds and a few other choice peices of garbage.

I vowed revenge right then.
I dumped bird seed all over the guys car.
This isn't a big deal, unless you have a huge blackbird problem like my college did back then.
Lots of birds on his car, pecking, clawing, crapping.

The other guy had the audacity to ask me to fill out one of his survey's for an agriculture class. I fill it out, and hand it back to him. Later I happened to find them on his deck. And they happened to find their way into my grill. Burning 200 pages of anything takes time.

And now for the girl. Greg (who has been helping me with the birdseed and clueless to the burnt surveys)and I saved the best for her. It was getting colder, freezing cold actually. After a few nights of wiping the salt off their steps, we iced them. very slowly and gently so that the ice was nice and clear.

That night we waited.

STOMP
STOMP
STOMP
STOMP
STO-BANG,
"whimper"

Greg and I smiled, we felt a little bad at first thinking maybe we got an innocent, that we went too far. Then we heard a few light sobs from a girl and then we were certain.


...........mission accomplished.

AnDrew


Epilogue:
They never bothered me again after that week of hell for them. Both my neighbors and I left after our lease was up. It started to get warmer, and got a nice refersher chuckle when we found out that the guy's car was scratched to hell.
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[icon] What?! Does Super Nanny have to slap a bitch? - Andrew
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